Have You Noticed

As the years continue to go by and I supposedly become older and wiser, it has occurred to me that there are subtle changes taking place in society - changes that most of us probably never even notice until that one day when we are suddenly overwhelmed with the evidence and it becomes clear that there is some sort of social conspiracy being perpetrated on those of us who are unsuspecting and uninformed. Hopefully, the following observations will help you to realize and take note of these social injustices. Perhaps it's time to write to our Congressmen, or even maybe the President himself, but it's clear that something has got to be done.

For instance, have you noticed that the print in newspapers and magazines seems to be getting smaller and smaller? The print used to be very clear to me but it seems lately I have to use a magnifying glass in order to clearly read the copy. Have you noticed that?

And also, when shopping for slacks, it seems in order to get a size 32, you have to buy slacks that read 36 or 38. When did they start doing that anyway? And the same thing with women's dresses. If you want a size 5 or 6, you have to buy a dress that reads 14 or 16. I think it's a psychological ploy initiated by clothing manufacturers to make us think we have to pay more because more material is being used, but I certainly know better. It just doesn't seem fair.

And have you noticed that people don't talk as loudly as they used to? It seems that everyone around me is whispering. I constantly find myself asking everyone to repeat what they just said. I'm not sure what that is all about, but I wish they would speak up.

And what about shoes? They're making shoes a lot shorter than they used to. I remember in the old days I used to be able to see the whole shoe, lacings and all. Now you look down and you can barely see the toe. Have you noticed that?

And one of my biggest beefs is theater seats and airplane seats. Who the heck decided it was time to make those seats narrower? I can remember sitting in a theater with plenty of room in the seat. And armrests were places to put your arms. Now it seems that after you fit your butt into the seat, a certain amount of "six pack" gets caught on the armrests. And the same goes for airplane seats, especially if you're sitting in the middle of a three seat section. The friendly skies have taken on a whole new flavor with narrow seats that force people on either side of you to share a portion of your seat.

And automobile manufacturers are not immune to this conspiracy. Have you noticed how little room they are putting between the steering wheel and the seat? I used to be able to slide in to a car quite easily. Now, the steering wheel is so close to the seat that I have to struggle to get behind it. Something needs to be done.

And the new "clueless entry" for automobiles. I can't figure it out. Supposedly some button somewhere will open your doors. My oh my, what the heck is wrong with putting the key in the keyhole thing anyway. Worked fine for years. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, I always say.

These are just a few brief observations. As I get older I may have more. For now, I think this is enough to get you thinking that perhaps I'm on to something. Or maybe you have some of your own that I may have missed. It's entirely possible. After all, this is a conspiracy.